My second grade class was held in a trailer, and on the first day of class I did not understand that we were allowed to leave and go to the main building, should we have to go to the bathroom. Consequently, I shit my pants. An artist takes risks, they seek to inspire, change, and transform. They seek deeper truths (about both themselves and the world) and then they seek to share these truths (which may not always be pleasant) with others in the world at large. Self censorship is never part of the equation. The notion of creating artwork, of tailoring a show to an audience's tastes, beholden to them as in a client-patron relationship, is sickening to me. That kind of compromise of vision is the domain of the professional interior decorator, and I am not a performing monkey. So tonight I will maintain my integrity and the nobility of both my mission and craft by presenting to you the contents of my work, pure and undiluted. Tonight I choose to confront the audience with the absurdities I've observed and imagined possible in this world, the world we now live in. To do this properly, it might be necessary to ruffle a few feathers and to make a few people uncomfortable, to confront them and their small hypocrisies, namely by assaulting their “good tastes,” by exposing them to an artwork with a more scatological or sexual bent then they may be accustomed to. But the work is meant to be playful, meant to be humorous, and is meant to draw people in, not to repel. I want to invite people into this strange world that I see, the world which we share together. So, please, if you find yourself offended, I ask that you reconsider, to not be so uptight, and to "keep calm . . . during anal leakage." Remember, God created the grotesqueness of the platypus, and the lustfulness of the goat with as much love as he created the classical beauty and gracefulness of the swan. So, with all things being equal, I invite you to come inside and to join me in my laughter. Let us celebrate together!